The day had been long as I walked slowly with my partner passed vendor after street vendor each selling the same type of smelly fish, dough balls and fried something. The last stall contained something different; chicken! We bartered a bit through the noise and 
then sat down in the parking lot behind which was transformed into an outdoor seating area filled with stackable plastic chairs and tables. We had been in the Dominican Republic for a few days now and our heads were spinning with a number of tasks we had to somehow figure out in the near future...however, it was time to sit and eat!
The chicken and dough balls came out along with a coke. A few bites in, a man in his thirties who was extremely fit jogged up to us 
halfway through a decent jog. With boldness and
no hesitation he looked at us and merely said in spanish "will you buy me a coke?"
Really? Did he really just ask for that? He's obviously doing ok. It's not like he's in need as much as the Haitian brothers who have just lost about everything and you can noticeably tell that many are at the end of their ropes and truly need something...We felt like we were supposed to say no so we did nicely and the guy shrugged and continued on his jog. Just as quickly as this odd situation came, it passed. However, what was left was a conversation that was once again started within me that I've been chewing on for some time.
The two of us started to chat about when we're supposed to give in those situations and when we're not. It's often an awkward few minutes as you stand there looking someone in the eye that is asking for money, food or something else. The first time I really encountered this was when I was living in Senegal. Boys under the teaching of a Muslim Maribou (somewhat like a pastor) would be sent out to beg for money through much of the day. They were malnourished, unclean and in rags. They knew the system and knew what looks provided the most money. The truth was that they were in an awful position and that if I gave to them, the money they received would most likely put other boys in that same position. However, if I didn't, they could be beaten for not meeting their quota. If they ran away they would be punished. They often slept many to a room with no Earthly possessions except the clothes on their back (if that) and perhaps a mat to sleep on at night while crowded in a room with other boys in the same perilous condition. This was their life. This was my struggle.
These past years I have found myself often confronted by people with the question of "will you give...???" However, it's rarely that polite. I've seen a lot and sometimes my heart is moved towards compassion and I give what I have. Other times my head is moved
by reason and I can rattle off all the reasons why I don't want to support the continuing cycle of dependency through begging in cultures that need to shed their victim mentality. I can't count the times when I haven't given money to a housless man because I've been instilled with the "wisdom" (or is it cynicism) that they will just use it for drugs and alcohal. I know that the "safer" option is to take them to go get food...but how ofted do we really take the time to do that? So, we shrug it off, feel bad for about 45 seconds and move on. If we're feeling really religious we sometimes accompany that with a prayer as we drive or walk away that God would meet their needs. Then we put in some earplugs so that we won't hear the Spirit say "
when I was hungry you fed me, when I was thirsty you gave me a drink, when I was naked you clothed me..."
When to give?
What to give?
The fact that we have the LUXURY to choose this is profound!
God has been working on my heart for awhile now challenging me to take a look at how I view finances. There have been many times in my life where I have given to the poor and needy. My heart is often moved to help. Then there are enemies...I don't really feel like I have a lot of enemies but I do have people who I would rather not support or bless. However, God often leads me to humble myself and give freely to these people as well. There are so many verses that talk about blessing those who curse you and giving to the needy but how often do we take it past that? Why is it often easy to give to these people and yet I can be reluctant to give to someone who I love and trust? If I would give away much to someone who hates me why would I be close fisted with someone who loves me? I don't know but it is curious isn't it?
SO...Here is my situation
God has taught me a lot about "inheritance" and "investment." The truth is that the best investment you or I could ever make is in people. Also, the best inheritance in the world is also people. If you've ever poured yourself into another human being there is a relationship that gets built that is a form of inheritance that I can't quite explain in words but is much greater in value than any boat, house, money or city.
I have devoted my life to follow Jesus Christ and have determined to live a life as a vessel that freely receives so that I can freely give. Everything of mine is already His and always will be. My hope is that those of you who know me can attest to my heart's commitment and intention. In following Him these past years, I have found myself in a situation where He has taught me much about His kingdom and more about Himself. However, I've relied often on your gracious support to meet my financial needs. I thank you for that. You've blessed me so greatly that I don't really have words to thank you and am often not very good at sharing with you how much of a blessing that has been. I do want to say that it has been a worthy investment and I have given all of myself into a number of other people's lives because of your generosity.
The facts are that I owe $27,000 dollars in school loans. I haven't had a job that pays money in a year and a half because of where He has taken me. I have next to no money in my account and I have to be making payments on those loans. On top of that, God has placed me in a position down here in Haiti where I will have to raise another $500 a month for these next two months. I will also have to pay for some basic health insurance in case of emergency. AIM has covered my trip back to the US tomorrow and a youth pastor has covered my flight to Washington on the 4th so that I can speak at a youth retreat. Once that retreat is over I will be coming back down to Haiti but I'm not positive how I will pay for it yet. My plan is to be back down here by March 14th and stay through the first week of May. I can give you an update soon if you would like on my role down here and the necessity to be here for this crucial time period of building the right foundation for what AIM is trying to join God in doing.
I first posted some of this info about a week or two ago and it was met with some interested and some concerned comments. It also met with some silence. A sentiment I heard a few times was that it's not right to ask people to help pay school loans. "It's not biblical." "We have to carry our own burdens." I'm sure I may have even offended some of you by even throwing that out as a possibility. I am a male with a great education and a good work ethic and the religiously polite, acceptable and responsible thing to do is to buckle down and pay off my loans first and then devote my "free time" to these escapades around the world. I understand this thinking because I have thought along these lines for much of my life.
If you know me, you know I like to work and I like to work hard. I am capable of paying off my loans but He keeps leading me into a different kind of work. He also has put me in a situation where I know He has called me to a place where I can't provide for my financial needs and have to rely again on Him to provide...maybe through you? If God puts that on your heart you can click on the link on the left that says "Your gracious support" or you can send money through the Haiti Relief page (
http://haiti.adventures.org/) with my name on the memo. Also, you can contact me and give me money directly to pay for these things. My work is the kingdom of heaven and my employer is the King of Kings. The money you give will go to giving Him glory as I continue to follow His lead. (As a sidenote, I am not against getting a job to pay them off myself but that hasn't been where He has led recently...and I don't know when that will happen...maybe May? June?...I don't know)
He has given me the opportunity to come before you like the jogger. I am here to ask boldly yet through humility if you will consider helping me. If you're not the answer to my situation then I won't be offended or discouraged. If you're offended by my request than I'd rather you not give and take some time to reflect on why such a request would offend you. If I were to ask for only my benefit, I would do so in shame but I know whom I serve and know that it will be a wise investment for you so I ask in confidence. For those of you who believe I am in err, please gently restore a brother and give me some grace and show me in the word where I am off base.
IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS, PLEASE READ THIS
I know He has called me to be here these next months so I know He will provide what I need. My goal is not to convict you or persuade you to give me money. My intention is for you to think and pray about what God is calling you to give and to whom. PLEASE DO NOT think that I'm primarily saying money to me. I think the best thing you can give is yourself...your heart, your words, your ear, your trust, your vulnerability and your presence...Who in your life needs that? Will you give it freely?
My second intention is to challenge you with what you ask God for. How big is He? Are there requests in your heart that you've never asked for because you've felt it's not acceptable or responsible? Do you believe His word? What do you think about these passages?
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:8)
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (Matthew 21:22)
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Mark 11:24)
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:10)
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. (John 16:24)
2You want something but
don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want.
You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (James 4:2-3)
21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. (1 John 3:21-23)
I would love to hear feedback on your thoughts. I'm still working through all of this myself.
